I went to my local GP surgery today for blood tests. I have always been squeamish with needles and still fear them despite going through labour. As a distraction technique, the nurse asked me questions whilst I turned away. She went through the generic list of questions: plans for the weekend, questions about what I did for a living etc..etc.. and I just knew she was going to ask me the question I feared the most. The ‘do you have any children’ question?
It’s an innocent question. How was she to know? I won’t blame her for asking but what I will blame her for is her utter insensitivity when I tried to explain, with tears rolling down my face, that yes, I did have a baby but he wasn’t here anymore. Her response? She apologised but told me not to worry. Apparently I’m still young enough to have more children. And next time I’m upset, I should think of the children who are 5 years, 10 years or 18 years old who die in wars and how lucky I am.
How lucky I am?! Thank you for comparing the incomparable loss of my baby to a war. Yes, I’ll remember how lucky I am that my baby was only 3 months old when he died. How lucky I am to be a bereaved mother. How lucky I am that I will never see my baby again.
Thank you for your ill-thought, misplaced good intentions. Thank you for making me feel a million times worse.