It’s been a tough week away, which is such a shame as we really are in the most beautiful, idyllic setting. We used to go away on holiday, to get away from it all, to have a break. But the trouble with grief is that it travels with you, wherever you go. You can’t escape it. And to be honest, I don’t want to. I don’t want to ever stop thinking about Eddie.
I’ve been looking at photos of Eddie every day. Sometimes on my own, sometimes with Chris. I have never truly appreciated the importance of photos until now. Of course, there are memories which are locked away in a safe place in my mind but photos keep other memories alive. They invoke emotions and remind you of moments.
I love these photos of Eddie. It was our last weekend together as a family and we had been at Regents Park that afternoon. We just finished bath time and Chris and I were getting him ready for his bed time feed. He was making silly faces at us and I was giggling as Chris took photos. We were so happy. Blissfully unaware that would be our last weekend together.
Photos can also prompt other memories. Looking at these photos reminds me of the conversations I used to have with Eddie in the morning. “What is mummy going to dress you in today bubba?” or “What has Daddy dressed you in this morning? Silly Daddy.” Eddie would just kick his legs and gurgle at me. I used to tell him that when he was old enough he could choose his own clothes but for now, he would have to make do with his mummy’s taste in fashion.