dates

My therapist told me that significant events and dates are especially tough and painful for the bereaved. A birthday or an anniversary intensifies the pain and reinforces your loss.

My first experience of a significant date was yesterday. My birthday. It wasn’t an event associated directly with Eddie but it painfully reminded me that he should have been here with me. It also reminded me that this time last year, I was happily celebrating my birthday with friends and my big bump. Blissfully unaware of what was yet to come.

Birthdays are meant to be happy celebrations. This one was not.

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7 responses to “dates

  • sheriroaf

    I’m so sorry, the ‘firsts’ are all very tough. What I wouldn’t give to go back to a year ago and not know this pain. Wishing you peace.

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  • prayingformyrainbow

    I’m so sorry. I had a tough date recently too. Monday was 2 yrs since Anneliese died. Days like these can set us back to square one

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    • Jen Reid (Jen Spencer)

      I am so sorry too – how do you manage to get through the birthdays, anniversaries etc…?

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      • prayingformyrainbow

        Well.. I try to pay it forward in her memory, but this year no one did much in her memory. Which further adds to the knowledge that others think one should move on. Some holidays I have donated to SIDS research, as I did this time. Cry, visit the grave, and sometimes drink a bit too much.. .but I am ttc, so the latter didn’t happen at all. Which is probably a good thing.

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  • kaitlynva

    My birthday in September was awful (my baby Sacha died in February). The one saving grace was that I was traveling so I spent most of the day on planes, with no internet or anything – the birthday wishes were the worst, especially because so many of them were of friends whose profile pictures include babies or families. I’m really struggling right now because it’s the anniversary of reaching 24 weeks of pregnancy, when I finally relaxed and got excited about having my baby. And it’s a holiday, on top of that. Not doing so well… I share your pain.

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    • Jen Reid (Jen Spencer)

      I am so sorry about the loss of your baby Sacha. Yes, the happy birthday wishes are the worst as there is absolutely nothing happy about it! I have hidden my date of birth information on Facebook so nobody wrote on there to me. I hope you’re ok. So sorry for your loss too, there are just far too many of us in this awful club x

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