We’re away at the moment with my sister and brother-in-law. Strange to be in a glorious setting with the sun shining but to be so desperately sad at the same time.
The autopsy report finally came through today. Eddie’s death has been so shockingly handled by the coroners office. We originally had delays in the post mortum as the office was closed over the Easter weekend which meant Eddie’s funeral was delayed by a week. There have since been delays in receiving the autopsy report because our coroner was away on holiday when the final report came in. Nobody had the decency to contact us in his absence and Chris found out today that they have had the report since 19th May!. As if we weren’t suffering enough already. Anyway, I will save my rant for another day but needless to say, it’s made our experience that much more painful. I am going to write to our local MP and we are seriously considering whether we should write to the national papers.
Eddie’s death has been classified as ‘SIDS’. This really means that all possible causes have been ruled out; it’s a diagnosis of exclusion. But despite the results, it still leaves the inevitable why questions and strengthens our reasons for wanting to raise money to help further research.
It’s also our wedding anniversary today. Something strangely poignant about receiving the results on this day, a day when we started the rest of our lives together. United as one. We aren’t doing anything celebratory but today reminds me how much I love Chris and how our strength, our solidarity as a couple, is getting us through the most unimaginable pain and unimaginable travesty. All order in the universe has been turned upside down and inside out but I still have hope in surviving life as long as Chris is by my side.
Happy 2 year anniversary my monkey xx