In an earlier blog post of mine, I wrote about connecting with other bereaved parents. All bereaved parents speak of an elite club we are now part of. Not through choice.
I met another bereaved mother a few weeks ago. I immediately connected with her without consciously knowing that she, too, had lost her son to SIDS. We discovered our shared loss later on, via email. It’s uncanny how grief unwittingly draws you to people.
In her email, she said “one can always spot a parent that has gone through the death of their child a mile off… there always seems to be a light out in our eyes”
So sad. So true. But maybe one day, that light will be re-ignited.
15th October 2014. A date that was of no significance to me before. It now marks 6 months since I lost my darling boy and is also international infant and pregnancy loss awareness day. It is something that I would have been completely oblivious to in the past but today it unites me with all bereaved parents whether they lost their baby during pregnancy, at, during or after birth. We are all united by the same, albeit different, tragic loss of a child.
All across the world, we are asked to light a candle at 7pm in remembrance of all the beautiful babies that have died. And all I keep thinking is in 3 months time I should be lighting a candle to celebrate Eddie’s first birthday.
It is just so wrong and so unfair.
In the aftermath of losing Eddie, I have reached out to the community of other bereaved mothers from far and wide. What amazes me the most from reading their blogs, is the sheer emotional rawness we all share in our writing. There are striking similarities in the vocabulary we use, the experiences we have all been through, the daily battle, the never ending questions and those moments of light overshadowed by our tragedy. I feel a virtual bond, despite not knowing who those mothers are.
And there is a sad reassurance when reading those blogs. Their words validate my feelings. They remind me that despite my loneliness, I am not alone.