In the early days after Eddie died, I remember feeling strangely in tune with the weather. It oddly made me feel better when it was grey and miserable outside. We then entered one of the hottest summers on record and I felt annoyed. And aggrieved. How dare the sun shine bright when my life was so sad and gloomy!
Over the past couple of weeks, the weather has shifted and taken on an autumnal feel. It’s still August but winter is looming. In my melancholy state, I should be looking forward to the colder months ahead. But I sit here, dreading the change of season. The heavy rain over the weekend, the anticipation of shorter days and longer nights, simply serves to intensify my grief and my sorrow.
Now I long for Summer and some brightness in my life.
For some reason I can’t get the song, ‘friends will be friends’ by Queen out of my head today. Totally random, I’m not even a Queen fan. But Chris is, and according to him, it was one of their worst songs.
But I think there is something quite apt about it as my mind wanders to friends who are travelling on this journey with us. Not on the same train as us, but on parallel tracks.
Grieving is a solitary process and as much as they try, our friends and family are unable to take away our excruciating pain. But the friends who are able to provide some sense of normalcy in our upside down world; the ones who are able to provide some light in our darkness and have the ability to make us laugh, even for just a moment, I thank you. The friends who just listen, or who text and call without expecting a response, who don’t give up on us, thank you all for just being there. Wholeheaterdly.
“When you’re through with life and all hope is lost,
Hold out your hand cos friends will be friends right till the end’