There is so much to write but I don’t have the heart at the moment to express myself in print. I have therefore decided to temporarily remove myself from writing for a little while. Every time we hope for something good to happen, life seems to throw another obstacle our way. It’s testing, it’s trying and it’s becoming too hard for our broken hearts to handle.
I also worry if I continue to complain about the challenges we face, then our life will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So for now, I am going to put my blog on pause for a few weeks and hope when I return, I write with better (and more hopeful) news.
I’m finding it hard to write at the moment. In part, I feel obligated to as it keeps Eddie’s memory alive to those who read my blog. And writing has been cathartic for me. It has provided another outlet for my grief. It lets the steam out of the kettle, so to speak.
Annoyingly, words aren’t flowing as easily as they did in the early days and I’m not sure why. It’s not that I’m feeling any better or have made progress. My pain has not lessened, nor should it ever lessen.
But one thing I have noticed is this: I have more coping mechanisms these days. I still can’t see a future filled with happiness, despite my well intended friends telling me so. Yet somehow I am getting through the days…
And that feels like quite an achievement for now.